You Think You are Being Kind with Your Money

But This Is the Mistake That's Costing You

Yoga and money may seem like opposites. One is rooted in presence and breath; the other feels fast-moving, practical, sometimes stressful. But for me, they’ve always been connected.

In fact, I’ve learned more about how to make wise, aligned, compassionate money decisions through yoga than I ever did in a classroom — and I have a background in accounting.

The truth is, there’s one practice in yoga that radically shifted how I relate to money. It’s not about twisting yourself into a pretzel or sitting on a meditation cushion for hours. It’s Ahimsa. The practice of non-harming. And it’s the very first principle in yoga. In fact, Ahimsa is the foundation - everything else builds on this.

At first glance, it seems simple: Don’t harm yourself or others. Most people don’t go around intentionally hurting anyone, right?

But here’s where money & Ahimsa get a little messy for the women I know.

We are so conditioned to give. To care. To support. To show up with a smile and a yes — even when it costs us. To put others first. So, what ends up happening is we unintentionally harm ourselves in the name of kindness to others.

This is the mistake so many make: we put everyone else’s needs first when it comes to money — what our kids want, what our partner prefers, what our family expects — and we tell ourselves we’re being generous, loving, even spiritual.

But if we’re honest, it often isn’t generosity. It’s guilt. Or fear. Or a deep-seated belief that our needs aren’t as important as someone else’s. We think we’re being kind. But in reality, we’re burning out, or going into debt, or feeling resentful and disconnected from our own values.

We’re giving from an empty place — and calling it love.

And I want you to know: I see you. I’ve done it too. It’s so easy to slip into this pattern. Especially if you’ve been raised to be “good” or praised for how much you do for others. Especially if you've absorbed the belief that saying no is selfish, or if money has always felt like a source of tension or scarcity.

But here’s the truth that shifted everything for me: Ahimsa must begin with you.

Let me say that again: You have to begin with yourself. Because it’s not truly kind to others if you’re harming yourself in the process. That’s not integrity — that’s imbalance.

When we spend money to keep the peace, to earn approval, or to meet unspoken expectations — and it doesn’t feel aligned — we are stepping out of harmony. And it matters, whether we admit it or not. It shows up in the tension in our shoulders. In the way we feel about opening our bank account, or the low-key resentment that builds up and leaks out in sideways comments or fatigue.

So what do we do instead?

It begins with taking a breath and pausing. Noticing. And gently asking: Is this harming me?

Not in a dramatic or judgmental way. Just curiosity.

When you consider that purchase, that offer of help, that request from someone you love — does it feel nourishing or depleting? Does it reflect your truth? Does it affirm your own worth? Or are you saying yes when your body, your bank account, and your inner wisdom are quietly whispering no?

Extending non-harming to yourself in financial decisions is an act of self-trust. It affirms your inherent worth — that you are just as important as the people around you. And when you honor that, something powerful happens.

You begin to feel more spacious and free.

You may even notice that when you say no — from a clear, kind place — the world doesn’t fall apart. Sometimes the people around you rise to the occasion. Sometimes they start questioning their own patterns and start making different choices, too. And sometimes, you’re simply modeling a different way to be. A more conscious, connected, and honest way of relating — to money, to others, and to yourself.

This isn’t about being rigid. It’s not about swinging from over-giving to over-protecting. It’s about honoring your needs as valid. It's about being discerning with your resources — not just your money, but your energy, your time, and your presence.

I've worked with clients who came in exhausted from constantly giving — financially, emotionally, logistically — to everyone around them. They didn’t want to stop being generous. That’s not who they are. But they were tired of feeling like their generosity was never enough, or that it came at the cost of their own well-being.

Through our work, they began practicing ahimsa with their money — and with themselves. They started pausing before saying yes. They set clearer boundaries. They made financial decisions from their values, not their guilt.

And the result wasn’t just a healthier bank account. It was a deeper sense of peace. More joy in their giving. More clarity in their choices. One woman told me, “I thought I’d lose connection with people if I stopped saying yes all the time — but I actually feel closer to them. I’m showing up more fully, because I’m not drained anymore.”

That’s the power of non-harming - it’s the heart of the yoga of money.

“But what if I disappoint someone?”

You might be wondering, “What if I disappoint someone I love? What if they don’t understand my no?” It’s a fair question. And yes, it’s possible they won’t be thrilled. But disappointment is not the same as harm. You’re not abandoning them. You’re not being unkind, you’re being honest. You’re offering an invitation for a relationship that’s rooted in mutual respect, not silent resentment.

And if someone truly loves you, they’ll adjust. They might even feel relieved. Because chances are, they’re tired too.

You are Allowed to Prioritize Your Own Well-Being.

It might feel a little wobbly at first, but you are allowed to say yes to yourself.

When you do, your money becomes a reflection of something deeper: your worth, your boundaries, your values. It starts to feel less like a source of stress or shame — and more like a tool for creating a life that actually feels good.

So I invite you, today, to consider this:

What would it look like to practice non-harming with your money?

Where are you saying yes out of fear, guilt, or obligation?

Where could a gentle no open the door to deeper freedom — for you, and for those around you?

I’m holding you, and your brave heart close, as you consider your relationship to money.

Let’s talk about what’s next for you.

You don’t have to keep navigating money from a place of guilt, pressure, or over-giving. There’s another way — one rooted in clarity, compassion, and your deepest values.

If this post stirred something in you, I’d love to invite you into a conversation.

Let’s talk about where you are in your relationship with money — and what freedom, sufficiency, and integrity could look like for you. Whether that next step is working together 1:1 or joining the next round of Get Right With Money®, I want you to have the support that you want.

Click here to start the conversation

Your relationship with money gets to feel different — starting now.