Scarcity is a profound and painful experience of lack. There are people everywhere who experience the desperation of real scarcity - a lack of food, water, safety, infrastructure, money, health care, education, support, encouragement - you name it, it is possible to experience scarcity in almost any way. Having lived in Zambia and traveled throughout Africa, scarcity of material resources is evident everywhere you look. Though there are (too many) people who experience real scarcity in the United States, far more people have ample resources who still feel the painful clutch of scarcity. How can that be?
The scarcity wound refers to an inner experience of scarcity in the present moment that is based primarily on past personal, familial, and societal experiences and/or narratives. In other words, the scarcity wound leads to suffering in the present moment that isn't based on the current reality. Make no mistake, this fear...
At the same time, the general insistence (especially in the spiritual, healing, and personal development realm) that personal challenge = being stuck in a story is frankly, complete bullshit. It draws the attention away from what is truly being offered to you via your experience and instead, adds insult to injury via the subtle judgment that you are “stuck in a story”.
Seriously, though — isn’t it interesting that we never consider ourselves to be “stuck in a story” if it makes us feel good? If it bolsters our sense of confidence? If it brings us a sense of clarity about who we are and how the world works?
You can try and gloss over, ignore, or positive affirmation your way past the very real conditions of life that create confusion, uncertainty, and hurts of the present and the past all day long but stories: our individual and collective stories (and the sorrow, grief, anger, fear, shame, and guilt that...
Here's the kind of stuff I heard growing up (and stuff a lot of my clients heard, too)... Either you are successful or you are a failure. You are either rich or you are poor. You do it right or you do it wrong. Either you have enough or you don't. You are happy or you are sad. You are worthy or you are not.
Scarcity is a choice-less, contracted state. In scarcity, you cling to whatever perceived goodness is available, desperately hoping it won't change or go away. In scarcity, you desperately fight against what feels challenging - paralyzed by the fear that you may never have what you want.
Scarcity is rigid and brittle. Feeling like a victim yet trying desperately to control the outcome. You can be sure that if you are using words like either/or, black and white, all or nothing, I can't, or I have to - you are in the grip of scarcity mentally, emotionally, and energetically.
Let's shake that off.
And when I say big deal, I mean, a lot of women abhor asking for what they want. I note that If a woman has difficulty asking for what she wants, she will most certainly struggle with receiving.
If you are a woman who struggles with asking and/or receiving, if you are a woman who considers yourself a "giver" but you don't like to take from others or if you are a woman who is chronically underpaid or you don't have enough work coming to you in your business - you are going to want to consider learning the art of asking (and choiceful receiving).
From sex to asking men to step off and leave you alone, to asking for the raise, the job, psychic space - whatever it is you want, you really must ask for it and ask clearly. I know this from inviting the women I work with to strengthen the skill of asking and also from my own experience and discomfort around asking. I believe there are ways in which we've been told...
How often do we hear this common flight instruction tossed around as a metaphor? We nod and agree, and then often, go back to throwing ourselves under the bus, doing the same things over and over, wishing for a different result. So, let’s be honest: this instruction is hard in the day-to-day doing.
When I said goodbye to corporate accounting many years ago, I left behind 80-hour workweeks, crushing deadlines, and painful posturing.
The last year I worked in a corporate setting full-time, I consciously decided to bring some balance back into my life. I stopped bringing my computer home on the weekends or weekday evenings. I took a lunch break away from my desk. I worked out in the company gym regularly (and it was nearly always deserted). Most importantly, I stopped reacting to the false sense of urgency that kept everyone amped up and on edge and started asking clarifying questions about...
You are not a machine. You are not a toaster with a faulty heating element. There is no final, steady-state of perfection, transcendence, or even plain old goodness to keep reaching for. You are brilliant, wise, and you shine so bright when I see you -- I wish you believed what you really, deep down, know is true: this brilliance, your brilliance, is the real deal.
No matter how much I say this, no matter how much I repeat this, I know that it's hard to hear in the swirl and roar of airbrushed images, affirmations that attempt to elevate you above your flaws, and the subsequent hangover cures peddled to everyone who is trying to distance themselves from their lack of perfection.
And, I know firsthand how much work it takes to live into this truth, which can seem like you are trying to fix something in you that is fundamentally flawed. That's not it -- it's more like chipping away at old paint...
I've heard the gamut of responses to the idea of "practice" -- from spiritual transcendence to athletic performance to dreadful, dull, and boring repetitive action.
In actuality, you are practicing every moment of every day. Consciously or unconsciously, you are practicing your responses, your actions, and your reactions. You are practicing your best and your worst qualities by simply doing what you do, over and over. This ultimately defines the quality of your life.
However, done intentionally, practice can be a potent and reliable ally in real and reliable transformation.
Intentional practice is about making a different choice -- disruption of the status quo in your actions. Intentional practice has a vision. Intentional practice is also fluid and deeply connected to the present moment and what is working.
Intentional practice means you are practicing something that is incredibly important to you be...
Lots of shitty things happen in the world. Our African American citizens are under attack, women are still paid less and treated like objects in our culture, the big predator animals of our planet are being hunted for sport and killed at unprecedented rates, etc, etc. - there is plenty of bad news to choose from. Take your pick.
In the past, when I would read these news stories, I would feel outraged, and then that would quickly turn to despair and helplessness. For a while I categorically ignored the onslaught of bad news in the name of 'staying positive', but I would still feel slightly sick when I would see a headline about the latest abuse and degradation of women, freedom, non-human nature, or our own citizens.
I recently decided (in the face of all the injustice and suffering our African American communities are subjected to) that just getting angry (and then feeling helpless) or ignoring the harsher...
I've been thinking a lot about addiction and recovery as I've been winding down my work in preparation for our move and feeling all the feels about all of it. Because I'm recognizing the clear signs of withdrawal from work. From WORK for crying out loud. It's been like falling down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland -- I keep thinking I'm going to get to the bottom but I keep falling, my past rushing by, offering me greater wisdom and healing around the gift of addiction and the call to recovery.
If you've been here for a while, you know that I freely identify myself as a woman with a body that is addiction-prone. I've not drunk alcohol for nineteen years and so many other addictions have shown up for me to circle this particular pattern within myself over and over: money/over-spending, sugar, information mining, Facebook, my silly iPhone... and here we are, with work.
I'm grateful that I recognize addiction as one of my life...
The world needs you in all of your glorious, authentic, and unique power. What that means is you, fully present, full capacity, connected to the truth: you are powerful, you are loved, and you are a divine expression of all that is good and beautiful in the world. You, your business, your family, your community, and the world needs you to embody this truth.
You are a creatrix. You hold the power of intuition, of knowing, of connection to the divine soul of the earth as a woman. Rivers, streams, and tributaries of nourishing blood pulse through you, expansive oceans of breath ebb and flow, the hot core of life bubbles up in the center of your chest, your luminous heart. The flesh of your body an ecosystem of mountain ranges, lush jungles, deserts, and pasture lands. Your bones, the rocky, solid terrain giving rise to form and shape. The womb of you, the seat of expression and receiving....
I am dedicated to supporting you as you heal the scarcity wound and embody authentic wealth. I can't wait to see what you do with your power, sister!
Your time is now. Let's do this.