Here's the kind of stuff I heard growing up (and stuff a lot of my clients heard, too)... Either you are successful or you are a failure. You are either rich or you are poor. You do it right or you do it wrong. Either you have enough or you don't. You are happy or you are sad. You are worthy or you are not.
Scarcity is a choice-less, contracted state. In scarcity, you cling to whatever perceived goodness is available, desperately hoping it won't change or go away. In scarcity, you desperately fight against what feels challenging - paralyzed by the fear that you may never have what you want.
Scarcity is rigid and brittle. Feeling like a victim yet trying desperately to control the outcome. You can be sure that if you are using words like either/or, black and white, all or nothing, I can't, or I have to - you are in the grip of scarcity mentally, emotionally, and energetically.
Let's shake that off.
And when I say big deal, I mean, a lot of women abhor asking for what they want. I note that If a woman has difficulty asking for what she wants, she will most certainly struggle with receiving.
If you are a woman who struggles with asking and/or receiving, if you are a woman who considers yourself a "giver" but you don't like to take from others or if you are a woman who is chronically underpaid or you don't have enough work coming to you in your business - you are going to want to consider learning the art of asking (and choiceful receiving).
From sex to asking men to step off and leave you alone, to asking for the raise, the job, psychic space - whatever it is you want, you really must ask for it and ask clearly. I know this from inviting the women I work with to strengthen the skill of asking and also from my own experience and discomfort around asking. I believe there are ways in which we've been told...
How often do we hear this common flight instruction tossed around as a metaphor? We nod and agree, and then often, go back to throwing ourselves under the bus, doing the same things over and over, wishing for a different result. So, let’s be honest: this instruction is hard in the day-to-day doing.
When I said goodbye to corporate accounting many years ago, I left behind 80-hour workweeks, crushing deadlines, and painful posturing.
The last year I worked in a corporate setting full-time, I consciously decided to bring some balance back into my life. I stopped bringing my computer home on the weekends or weekday evenings. I took a lunch break away from my desk. I worked out in the company gym regularly (and it was nearly always deserted). Most importantly, I stopped reacting to the false sense of urgency that kept everyone amped up and on edge and started asking clarifying questions about...
I've heard the gamut of responses to the idea of "practice" -- from spiritual transcendence to athletic performance to dreadful, dull, and boring repetitive action.
In actuality, you are practicing every moment of every day. Consciously or unconsciously, you are practicing your responses, your actions, and your reactions. You are practicing your best and your worst qualities by simply doing what you do, over and over. This ultimately defines the quality of your life.
However, done intentionally, practice can be a potent and reliable ally in real and reliable transformation.
Intentional practice is about making a different choice -- disruption of the status quo in your actions. Intentional practice has a vision. Intentional practice is also fluid and deeply connected to the present moment and what is working.
Intentional practice means you are practicing something that is incredibly important to you be...
No matter what circumstances, no matter what has happened to you, the end of the story — the way that you or I work with what we’ve been handed in life is what matters.
One of my clients, struggling at the moment, wondered aloud if focusing on trauma was just keeping her stuck, unable to move forward. Her wondering really struck me — I’ve certainly felt that way over the years and wanted desperately to just. be. over. it. I’ve taken the road of, “If I ignore the pain, the anger, and the anxiety and just focus on the positive and my strengths — it will just go away.”
It is so very human to want to avoid pain, to avoid feeling, to avoid facing the demons that lurk in the unexplored darkness of our body psyche. We fear that we will be swallowed whole, that pain will consume us, that we will never emerge from what might feel like a bottomless pit.
Lots of shitty things happen in the world. Our African American citizens are under attack, women are still paid less and treated like objects in our culture, the big predator animals of our planet are being hunted for sport and killed at unprecedented rates, etc, etc. - there is plenty of bad news to choose from. Take your pick.
In the past, when I would read these news stories, I would feel outraged, and then that would quickly turn to despair and helplessness. For a while I categorically ignored the onslaught of bad news in the name of 'staying positive', but I would still feel slightly sick when I would see a headline about the latest abuse and degradation of women, freedom, non-human nature, or our own citizens.
I recently decided (in the face of all the injustice and suffering our African American communities are subjected to) that just getting angry (and then feeling helpless) or ignoring the harsher...
There is the risk of not making enough money to pay the rent.
The risk of leaving the corporate paycheck behind.
There is the risk of concept failure.
There is the risk that life will intervene and you will have to scale back your business.
And then there are all the risks that go along with saying yes and taking bold action.
There is the risk that you will be criticized, called out, judged, and disliked by some.
There is the risk that you will work so much that the rest of your life will fall apart.
There is the risk of reinvention and evolution.
The risks you will take to be in business (hell, to live a full life) are endless, and though that may take your breath away, imagine me telling you that while looking you straight in the eye, knowing you are fully up to the task.
Most good things in life are on the other side of...
I've been thinking a lot about addiction and recovery as I've been winding down my work in preparation for our move and feeling all the feels about all of it. Because I'm recognizing the clear signs of withdrawal from work. From WORK for crying out loud. It's been like falling down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland -- I keep thinking I'm going to get to the bottom but I keep falling, my past rushing by, offering me greater wisdom and healing around the gift of addiction and the call to recovery.
If you've been here for a while, you know that I freely identify myself as a woman with a body that is addiction-prone. I've not drunk alcohol for nineteen years and so many other addictions have shown up for me to circle this particular pattern within myself over and over: money/over-spending, sugar, information mining, Facebook, my silly iPhone... and here we are, with work.
I'm grateful that I recognize addiction as one of my life...
The world needs you in all of your glorious, authentic, and unique power. What that means is you, fully present, full capacity, connected to the truth: you are powerful, you are loved, and you are a divine expression of all that is good and beautiful in the world. You, your business, your family, your community, and the world needs you to embody this truth.
You are a creatrix. You hold the power of intuition, of knowing, of connection to the divine soul of the earth as a woman. Rivers, streams, and tributaries of nourishing blood pulse through you, expansive oceans of breath ebb and flow, the hot core of life bubbles up in the center of your chest, your luminous heart. The flesh of your body an ecosystem of mountain ranges, lush jungles, deserts, and pasture lands. Your bones, the rocky, solid terrain giving rise to form and shape. The womb of you, the seat of expression and receiving....
I had been pushing for three hours. My husband had gone off to do laundry - his nerves were shot from the labor. I was sitting in the birthing tub in Clara's nursery, my head hanging over the side and I was crying.
"I can't do this. It's too much. It hurts. I've been pushing too long. What if something is wrong? Why won't she come out? What's wrong with me?" I was tired, scared and in pain and I was telling my midwife through tears all the reasons why I wasn't up to the task.
She lovingly picked up my chin and looked me straight in the eye. Full of knowing and strength and steely feminine power she said exactly what I needed to hear:
"This is not the most difficult thing you will do for your daughter - not by a long shot. You can do this."
Three hours into the labor, she woke me up. Reminded me of who I am. I promised her another thirty minutes of all I had to give. I got out of...
I am dedicated to supporting you as you heal the scarcity wound and embody authentic wealth. I can't wait to see what you do with your power, sister!
Your time is now. Let's do this.