Leading with Truth
Asking is a big deal for a lot of women.
And when I say big deal, I mean, a lot of women abhor asking for what they want. I note that If a woman has difficulty asking for what she wants, she will most certainly struggle with receiving.
If you are a woman who struggles with asking and/or receiving, if you are a woman who considers yourself a "giver" but you don't like to take from others or if you are a woman who is chronically underpaid or you don't have enough work coming to you...
You are the heroine of your own story.
No matter what circumstances, no matter what has happened to you, the end of the story — the way that you or I work with what we’ve been handed in life is what matters.
One of my clients, struggling in the moment, wondered aloud if focusing on trauma was just keeping her stuck, unable to move forward. Her wondering really struck me — I’ve certainly felt that way over the years and wanted desperately to just. be. over. it....
Depths & Hard Edges
The depths and edges of our discontent, the tension we feel between how things ARE and how we want them to be, urge us toward transformation, toward change. Our pain shapes us into the people we are, and, if we choose to say yes, our pain will shape us into the people we are meant to be.
The Path We Walk
Saying yes to accepting suffering as a teacher and guide clears the path, moving us toward possibility, toward wholeness and yes, toward joy - toward deep and abiding...
Self-responsibility is powerful medicine.
At the same time, the general insistence (especially in the spiritual, healing, and personal development realm) that personal challenge = being stuck in a story is frankly, complete bullshit. It draws the attention away from what is truly being offered to you via your experience and instead, adds insult to injury via the subtle judgement that you are “stuck in a story”.
Seriously, though — isn’t it interesting that we never...
I wanted to feel better, that’s all.
That’s all, and it’s everything, isn’t it? For as long as I could remember, I longed for experiences of myself, and of life, that felt different.
I wanted to feel better (safe, secure, at ease) in my skin.
I wanted to break the legacy of addiction and violence in my family.
I wanted to be a good enough mother.
I wanted to feel safe inside of relationships with other people.
I wanted to feel alive, not slightly distanced from...
“Before helping others, put on your oxygen mask.”
How often do we hear this common flight instruction tossed around as a metaphor? We nod and agree, and then often, go back to throwing ourselves under the bus. So, let’s be honest: this instruction is hard in the day to day doing.
It’s no simple thing.
When I said goodbye to corporate accounting many years ago, I left behind 80 hour work weeks, crushing deadlines and painful posturing.
The last year I worked in a...
This is the second post in a series of posts about my experience being diagnosed, and treated for, melanoma. Did you miss the first post?
Baggage, History and Beliefs
A few years ago I took my daughter, Clara, on a month-long road trip across the western United States. When we got to Yellowstone, there were people lined up to rent bear spray.
Bear spray. Huh.
Here is what I thought, “I trust the bears more than I trust you. I know what to expect from wild animals. You...
This is a love story.
More than ever, I know that my story has never been anything but a love story.
Talking about illness and past hurts is tricky territory — the human inclination is to look away or create distance, “Oh poor her, that is tragic.” Please save that kind of pity for something else. Because this story, my story, is every woman’s story to some degree.
I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t suffer at least a little bit in the present moment from...
You do not require "fixing"
You are not a machine. You are not a toaster with a faulty heating element. There is no final, steady state of perfection, transcendence or even plain old goodness to keep reaching for. You are brilliant, wise, and you shine so bright when I see you -- I wish you believed what you really, deep down, know is true: this brilliance, your brilliance, is the real deal.
No matter how much I say this, no matter how much I repeat this, I know that it's hard to hear...
Dear beautiful you.
This is dedicated to my daughter. To your daughter. To all the daughters. To all the women who are in the lives of younger women. To all of us who are raising our voices for a deeper, wider and truer conversation that opens up a different world. I dedicate this to you.
I've been grappling. Grappling with the imperative to "be what you speak and speak what you be", as my wise friend KJ said to me. As the kid who was scorned as the town crier, I've always been a person for...
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