The Secret of Change

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Six years ago, money was a big issue for me.

I couldn't look at my money because I was unconsciously acting on a story of lack: lack of love and respect for myself, lack of trust, lack of capacity to care for my resources because I felt that I didn't have any resources at a fundamental level.

Even as a CPA, I was deeply entrenched in this story, in reaction to this false sense of scarcity and "not-enoughness", I would "treat" myself to try and feel worthy or abundant which would amplify my state of fear and anxiety because I would overspend and end up in a true state of financial lack (despite plenty of income). Ironically, I lived in a constant stream of anxiety, even though I wasn't "thinking" about money. This was a huge trigger of stress and discord in my relationship with my husband - perhaps one of the only things we have ever really argued about. 

It sucked all the way around.

I desperately wanted to change this for myself and for the sake of my relationship. I wanted to operate from a place of wholeness and stewardship with all of my resources (at the time I would have just said money) and so the process of change began with an intention: to heal my relationship with money. I started first with the mental and emotional pieces - as a coach, that seemed right (and still allowed me to avoid dealing directly with money).

{Little did I know that I was embarking on a journey - and one I will be on the rest of my life. Money and resources are profound and ever-evolving teachers.}

Soon, I understood on a deep level that any change made in the mind or even on an emotional or energetic level doesn't do much good unless it translates into a change in how we show up in the world. My intention to heal my relationship with money grew into a commitment to be a woman in touch with cash flow (I started tracking my money). What that did for me in short order was pretty miraculous. I was able to pay off over $50,000 in debt in less than six months and the next level of my commitment became clear, which was to become a woman who invests. And so I have. This month, in fact, marks the beginning of fulfilling a vision I've had for my business: to invest 25% of the after-tax profits of the Wild Wealth Collective in the future I wish to create.

So transformation, over the course of six years has looked like this: 

  • Began healing my emotional and mental relationship with money, worth and work.
  • Started checking in with, and tracking my money, every darn day.
  • Paid off $50,000 in debt in five months, nearly five years ago and I've never looked back.
  • Became a woman who invests financially by learning how to save money consistently. 
  • The last two moves we've done (Colorado-Hawaii-Colorado/Africa) have been entirely cash based with money remaining in short-term savings to boot. (In other words, no debt moving)
  • Lastly, my business contributes not only to my household and to our financial commitments but I've incorporated social and environmental investing into my business model: to support the world I wish to live in, I made my first quarterly investment earlier this month for $1,200.00 to The Savory Institute.

None of this was a quick fix (which I know I always wanted and it's a standard desire with knotty issues) - but here, from the six year vantage point, this IS how transformation occurs - over time, with intentional action. 

I'm not special, nor am I perfect. 

I DO happen to have a life that challenges me to step up and meet change pretty consistently: from getting, and staying, sober for the last 14 years, to having my baby at home with a midwife, not to mention moving constantly and reinventing my life and my business with each move we make (nine moves over the last 13 years of marriage) as well as being a coach and a lifelong learner devoted to personal development - I've had ample opportunities to explore the messy and beautiful path of lasting change. 

Change is available to you if you have the courage to do the inner work and make the outer changes in how you take action. Here are a few not-so-secret secrets about making intentional changes.

The not-so-secret Secrets of Lasting Change

  1. Ease comes when you surrender to the commitment: Change is about showing up every day, there is no quick fix to anything you might want a quick fix for. Lasting change (aka: transformation) is largely about committing to make a practice part of your life 4-Ev-R. 
  2. Take the long view. As alluded to in the first not-so-secret, secret, patience is your best friend. Staying focused on the long-term gains, not the short-term losses, is invaluable when you fall short (which I hope you do, because failure is a vital part of making any kind of change).
  3. Slow Down. Meaning, one thing at a time, sister. Sometimes changing All The Things seems appealing but really, it's just another face of scarcity to decide that you have to change everything NOW. Honor that change takes time and that when you change one thing, many other surprising things will change right along with your one small change.
  4.  To make change yours: practice, practice, practice. We are always practicing something (consciously or unconsciously) - for instance, I barely even think about checking in with my money each day it's so ingrained in me to do so, but at the beginning, it was painful. To create lasting change, you must be willing to practice in ways that will help you embody the change you wish to experience.
  5. Support yourself in who you want to be. What kind of support do you need to be the kind of woman you wish to be with your resources? What kind of nurturance will most sustain your commitment to change? What will help keep your resolve strong as you train to be the woman you wish to be? 
  6. Take time weekly, monthly and yearly to acknowledge how far you've come. I know you've done this - all of a sudden you realize just how much you've changed when you look back. Do this often. Integrate and celebrate just how brilliant you are at creating change in your life.
  7. A bonus not-so-secret, secret, for love. Let it be messy. Let it be human. Enjoy the winding and gorgeous, non-linear process of being wholly yourself, choosing a different path, making lasting change in your life.

If I can do it, you can. For reals.

I invite you to decide today. What is one place in your life you would like to see change? Commit to the change you want to see in your life and choose a small, daily practice that will set you on the path to change and show up again and again. Fail, get up, start again. Love the winding, beautiful and oh-so-human path of making lasting change. 

You've got this sister. 




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