One and the Same

You are brilliant.

I mean, fucking amazing.  There are things that you do that no one else can do like you do (YOU know what they are).  No matter how you feel about it, it's true.

You tuck your brilliance away for a variety of reasons.

So you don't make other people feel bad about themselves. Or, so people will like you and won't leave you. Or, to be modest - a good girl.  Or whatever your reason is. At it's core, when we don't own our value - it's an omission of the truth.

A lie we tell ourselves, that erodes our sense of worth.

It's so much easier to trot out the places we are broken and the countless ways we fall down or fail - to apologize endlessly for being human, to use it as an excuse to forget how utterly and completely magical and powerful we really, truly are.

I remember distinctly the first time I did it. 

I had entered a science fair in second grade and I did a completely bad-ass 3-D research project on great white sharks.  It was awesome (I even had REAL SHARK TEETH!!!).  I won 2nd Place.  And the kids in my class teased me about being a geeky smart girl.  A ribbon-winner.

I was horrified.

I started calling attention to all the ways that I wasn't so great. To level the playing field.  To equalize.

Directing others away from my intellect, my curiosity, my insight, and my love of sharks, so people wouldn't notice.

The problem with this strategy was, I forgot.  I was so busy protecting my gifts with decoys so I wouldn't make other people feel bad, or so people would love me, that I. Forgot.

But in the end, the forgetting is perfect.

To really stand in the light of our own powerful nature, we have to be tempered.

There will be criticism.  There will be people who will leave. There will be failures and stumblings and accusations. There will be plenty of moments of uncertainty. Your comfort with, and acceptance of, your brokenness and humanity will fuel your courage - will help you show the world how it's done.

You are broken and you are whole and the broken bits are an invitation to the people you are here to serve.   Owning the gifts of your brokenness, and being able to embrace the deep well of your entire experience, will help you withstand the fire of standing in your greatness.

In the end, your brilliance and your brokenness are one and the same.

Your internal yin and yang is so damn valuable. Immeasurable, really. Your brilliance is waiting to join your failures, center-stage.  Stop apologizing, stop hiding.

Show us everything you've got.

Namasté to you, business yoginis!

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15 comments

Chibi Jeebs Nov 4, 2011 12:11am

First time - but sure to be a return - visitor. I *adore* this post so much. Thank you. :)

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I'm with Starla. Entirely. I love that you speak frankly. I mean, LOVE.

This is also something that's been coming up for me in various forms more and more lately. I'm remembering that when I was in elementary school, I was one of 'the smart kids'. I was placed in advanced classes with the other smart kids. I felt like a second-class citizen with them, though (I perceived myself as not *quite* as smart as them, and my family didn't have the money that their families did), so I kind of curled into myself and fell behind. I was then placed back with the other kids. There have been replays of this in my life in various ways since then, which is really interesting.

It's great to see this becoming more and more of a topic lately, and it's fabulous to see it in its various forms.

You've got a new loyal fan ;-)

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I wrote a speech in 8th grade for a contest. I won but they had a boy deliver MY speech! Unbelievable! It was the early 70's, but come on. A girl couldn't give a speech to the entire student body?

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Fabulous!!! Rock-on Nona!! xoxo

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Wow, Sue. What a message that sends. And look at how amazing you are at delivering your message to people!!! xoxo

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Lisa Alessi Nov 3, 2011 01:37pm

Another incredibly empowering post by my favorite warrior -- Nona Jordan! Thank you for reminding us of how important it is to stand up tall and honor who we are, love you Nona.

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no longer content : part 2 – MyMosaicLife.com Nov 4, 2011 02:37am

[...] There has been quite a bit of discussion in the comments of the original post, in direct e-mails, and on other folks blogs. [...]

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@Starla: Amen, amen, and amen. The feeling is entirely mutual - I love having you in my world. Shine on, friend! xoxo

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Dana Boyle Nov 3, 2011 02:53am

Oh my god, Nona! This. Is. Beautiful and Brilliant! It got me all choked up. I have to share this with everyone. I want to print this and give it to everyone I meet. You just reminded me AGAIN why I love you. xoxoxo

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Starla J. King Nov 3, 2011 03:12pm

and once again, your post touches on something that just recently has been showing up for me. That the thing that gets us into a painful situation is the same thing that will get us out. That our brokenness and our brilliance are one and the same. That the way in is also the way out. That not only is everything connected, but in the deepest sense possible, everything IS THE SAME. So glad I found you, your writing, your teachings, your inspiration. xo

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Judy Murdoch Nov 3, 2011 05:08pm

When I was in first grade my class used to play soccer during recess. We were all 6 and 7 so you know how "organized" kids at that age are right?

Well, it occurred to me that since no one was kicking the ball in any purposeful way there was an opportunity for me to go for it.

So I did. I got the ball and kicked it forward until I got a goal.

I think the other kids were stunned. Not because a girl got the ball but because someone actually had a plan and followed it. Like the Big Boys.

So the time time round, I do the same thing. And one of the boys said, "Uh oh, here comes Rosen!" (I was Judy Rosen before i was married).

And I choked. It was fine when no one noticed but when people did I couldn't do it.

Then a boy snagged the ball and made the next goal.

I think there's something about receiving sincere praise and love from others that I have a hard time taking in.

And at the same time a part of my yearns so much for that recognition and praise.

Definitely a place for healing.

Thanks for reminding me.

Love Judy

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Brilliant!

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Dana - thank you. And I love you right back!! xo

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Lisa, my friend, you shine! I'm so blessed to know you! Thank you for commenting here! xoxo

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Welcome, Angela!! It's amazing how we start hiding our brilliance so young and that it comes up, over and over again - our brilliance asking to be seen and reborn in our current lives. Thank you for being here. xoxo

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