The Art of Dwelling in Worth

Dwell.jpg

Prefer audio? Listen to me read this post {7 min, 40 seconds}

"I don't want to do my workout." 

I woke up this morning and that was my first thought. Clara has been sick. I was sick. It was Clara's birthday. We are traveling next week. I'm in the middle of 2018 Medicine Visions. I'm preparing space for the women who are gathering for The School of Sacred Practice including answering questions, having chats and sharing my thoughts with women on why it matters to them. 

My workout seemed like a royal pain in the ass that I definitely didn't have time for. 

There is a time to honor that momentary feeling.

Like when I'm sick or physically exhausted -- but it wasn't today. When I thought about Clara being home sick and all the things that I want to do today, coupled with how I want to move through my day - I remembered (from experience) that despite my 'feeling' of not wanting to, today is the kind of day that I most need to create the space for my Sacred Practices in order to show up in my life the way I want to: fully connected to myself and feeling deeply cared for and enlivened. 

Sacred Practice is the very ground I build on.

My Sacred Practices: moving my body, feeding myself well, meditation and breathing, intention and planning for wise action, as well as energy work combined with connecting with nature and my guides - these are the banks of my proverbial river. These are the practices that, over the years, I've determined feed me deeply. These practices, whether I want to do them or not, offer me deep pleasure and connection to the full compliment of sacred resources that are mine to work with. 

But most important, these Sacred Practices are an ongoing personal affirmation of my worth in action - affirming that I matter as much as anything else in life. That my energy, my mood, my rest, my pleasure, my nourishment - it matters to me. Tending myself and my sacred resources is at the heart of my practices and practice, over time, creates lasting change and transformation. Living well, working well and being well -- these are functions of Sacred Practice. 

Practicing the art of dwelling in worth.

You might shake your head and say that this is a lot - too much, even. Yes, it is a lot. No, it's not too much. As a sensitive, intuitive woman who is a spouse of a diplomat, mother to a teenager and a woman who runs my own business - I need a lot of tending and care. Full stop, no apology. 

From years of cutting out one thing, or another, or ignoring my Sacred Practices altogether, here is what I know for sure: to ignore my Sacred Practice is a recipe for dysfunctional behavior. It's a recipe for trying to soothe myself with cupcakes or bites of frosting or cookies or shopping. It's a recipe for a disconnection from my truth that's so acute I don't notice until I'm in a resentful fury toward the people I love most. It's a recipe for staying "busy" doing work that isn't taking me where I really want to go. It's a recipe for feeling a sense of lack that makes my soul ache. 

I'm sure I'll be there again, but time spent in that poverty-stricken state is shorter every time. Because: transformation. My Sacred Practices have consistently changed me, over time, into a whole new person. I'm committed. 

So yes, it's a lot. And as much as I am worthy of that kind of care and attention, so are you.

You, too, are worthy.

Anything that you do with consistent devotion is a practice. What makes a practice sacred is the intention and energy we bring to it. So I never quibble with clients about what practices they choose if they resonate deeply for the individual - I'm not an expert on what practices might be ideal for you (though I could offer ideas).

The heart of Sacred Practice is about living in alignment with your deepest knowing and indulging in the true pleasure of being alive with consistent devotion - this provides deep nourishment, true connection, as well as great joy and increased energy. This kind of fullness makes you better at everything you do and helps you clearly define boundaries around traditional sources of "worthiness" (like money). Why? Because when you dwell in worth, you have less tolerance for being underpaid, less impulse to overwork, and a greater capacity to discern what your true material needs and desires are (which usually means more money in the bank).

Commit to a Practice of Dwelling in Worth.

A commitment to your unique constellation of Sacred Practice offers a pathway to being the woman you are, and the woman you are becoming by choice. I invite you to choose one Sacred Practice to do with devotion and intention, to show up for yourself and your practice each day and let it transform you. It will, I promise. 

There is nothing all that special about committing to Sacred Practice. You can do it simply by making a choice, each and every day. And, I know that creating time and shifting into a state of dwelling in worthiness can be a challenge with screaming self-criticism, not to mention others sly judgements. However, over time, your commitment amplifies your sense of worthiness and in turn, that sense of worthiness amplifies your commitment to the practices that support dwelling in worth.  

The School of Sacred Practice is enrolling now. If you loved this article, you will love The School -- our second intensive is a sweet dive into the very art of dwelling in worth. I would be delighted to support you and to create sacred space for the changes you seek to make in 2018. Join us. 

xo.nona

 

The Only Way Through

Let's begin with a fundamental truth. 

No one escapes the discomfort of uncertainty. That's the truth. The wisest course of action is slow down and lean towards it, peer into it's depths and soften your whole body. To welcome the waves of emotion as they crash on the shores of your being. The quickest way through (which may not be fast at all) is all the way through.

New beginnings are uncomfortable.

Knotted together with the wonder and consciousness-expanding experience is the inevitable discomfort. The death of something old and outdated. Uncertainty abounds. In the middle of transformation, we live in the question. And a question that always comes up for me, "How do I get away from this discomfort, this not-knowing?" (Usually repeated like a desperate mantra at one point or another.)

Humans are tender beings. 

The tendency is to protect, to create distance, when we are in the middle of change -- be it internal or external. I'm struck by knowing that there is no solid ground. We are always in a state of uncertainty, but there are large swaths of life that FEEL certain most of the time. 

And when the discomfort of change sets in, we all have ways of distancing ourselves.

Rightfully so -- we are tender beings. We have endless means to distract and numb in today's world. Some people whistle in the dark and want to stay endlessly upbeat. Others numb up in ways that are relatively benign to wildly destructive: eating all the ice cream to shooting up with heroine and everything in between. Some people try to control everyone and everything in an attempt to make things comfortable again. 

I used to drink it away, many years ago. Then I tried to transcend the human experience through becoming enlightened (so funny, right?). Now? Now I tend to vacillate between welcoming the full spectrum of experience and compulsively seeking clarity before I hunker down with cupcakes to create some space between myself and the uncertainty.  We all have our ways to soften the edges where our capacity for upheaval dwindles.

But time and again, more quickly I circle back to the pulse of my desire -- the desire behind all others that drives and inspires me moment to moment. 

I want to live with my heart wide open. 

The full catastrophe is what I want. Adventure, truth, joy, connection, love, beauty and authenticity and all the heartbreak and failure it takes to get there. This has been growing in me since I stopped drinking 14 years ago, the seed of this desire was likely the root of my sobriety. Now I want what life offers, I long to know the world and to let it change me, but I still fight against my conditioning. My desire for safety and my fear of being hurt. 

Honestly, if it were all bad and I knew I was going to be suffering in the next act, it might be easier -- pain and suffering are celebrated, respected and revered and I'm a skilled navigator in those choppy waters. However, learning to open myself just as fully to joy and beauty and love challenges me and teaches me in a way that suffering has not.  

I am committed. I stay the course with compassion for my failings and keep opening, nudging my edges, expanding my heart's capacity for contentment, if not joy, in any and all circumstances. I'm so much closer to trusting life and trusting myself to be okay with not only the choices I make, but what's offered to me.

And with this growing trust? I don't need to know anything else because the journey is going to show me what I need to know.

What is life bringing you?   

When you are in the middle of change, wanted or unwanted, no one can make your choices for you. No one knows you, and your circumstances, better than you. It's wise to be fierce in your commitment to know your own heart. 

Others can walk with you, hold you hand and light your path -- perhaps even offer you glimmers of inspiration as to how you wish to ride the waves of change.  I offer you these aspirations for your journey: may you find yourself inspired to slow down and to lean in. May you have the courage to peer into the depths and soften your whole body in a gesture of welcoming. May you savor the path and know that the quickest way through (which may not be fast at all) is all the way through. May you trust that the journey will show you exactly what you need to open your heart, moment to sacred moment. 

xo.nona

The Ways of Wild Wealth

"Wealth" triggers strong reactions. 

Three years ago, when I began talking about my own path, and my work, as the path of Wild Wealth - a dear friend told me that she was completely turned off by the word wealth, which I found fascinating. We had a long discussion about what wealth is, and what it is not. 

(She eventually came around to my way of thinking.)

In our society, wealth is associated primarily with financial wealth -- but the root of the word wealth is "weal" which, according to Merriam Webster is, "a sound, healthy, or prosperous state." It also held strong ties to "commonweal" which is, "the happiness, health, and safety of all of the people of a community or nation."

So wealth in it's truest form is operating from a sense of wholeness to create and amplify prosperity for yourself and for others. Wealth is something that you already are and something that you can create more of -- it is not something to "have" or acquire. Wealth is innate and instinctual. 

Money is a front man. 

As I turned my attention toward understanding wealth, I realized some very important things. Namely, that society dictates that you should be focused on money as the source of wealth. Meaning you are encouraged to look to something outside of yourself to define your sense of worth and your state of wealth.

This is incorrect thinking. Wealth is, most simply, resources - both individual and shared. When wealth is realized as something that is innate (you are filled with resources just being who you are), it can be cultivated in sustainable ways. In that way, it amplifies wealth for everyone - not just a few people. 

That is why I believe so deeply in the work of The Wild Wealth Collective for women in business. When we are steeped in a sense of our own wealth, it supports a sound and sustainable business and a beautiful, joyful life that amplifies wealth personally and collectively.

Bring on the Wild Wealth

So if wealth is about resources, what is the wild all about? 

When I shifted my attention away from money as my primary focus, here is what I noticed -- the qualities within you and I that constitute the vast and abundant resources that we have to work with are most often disregarded and dismissed and trained out of women, in particular.

These are the exact qualities that need to be liberated, that are the very heart of your Wild Wealth: strong emotions, definitive opinions, an insistent voice, courageous integrity and tenacity, claiming the rhythms and cycles of rest and action and trusting yourself and what you know 100%. 

Wild is the untamed and the subdued, that which is not valued in polite society. I'm here to tell you sister, that the qualities of your Wild Wealth, liberated, are your currency - they are YOU, present and alive and engaged. They are the resources that amplify every area of your life because they are the hallmark of finally, blessedly, knowing you are (more than) enough and you ARE the embodiment of wealth in this very moment. 

Liberate your Wild Wealth

  • You step up and stop hiding your wealth of creative expression, even when it's scary. 
  • You are committed to being on your own side: taking care of your most precious resource, you. 
  • You create the work and the life that you truly want, not the one you think you should create. 
  • You stop apologizing and start speaking the Truth.
  • You seek out, and connect with, people and relationships that celebrate you and your authenticity. 
  • You connect with, and trust, your deepest soul knowing. 
  • You claim pleasure and desire and instinct as valid ways of moving through the world. 
  • You magnetize your right business and amplify your financial flow as a result. 
  • You cry. You get angry. You dance with joy. You are honest. You are fully engaged with the beautiful, and often messy business, of your whole life including meaningful work. 

Each of these things taken individually is amazing and transformative. I see the women I work with courageously living into their Wild Wealth every day, living with a fuller connection to the wealth that is theirs and creating work and lives with more joy, more power, more connection and more inspired, deliberate action that creates wealth for them and for those in their communities. It's beautiful. 

You are the embodiment of wealth. 

Right now. More than anything, I would love for women around the world, including you, to wake up and know this. I want you to know and celebrate your Wild Wealth - to live it and express it in all the ways. To appreciate the vast resources that are within you as a woman, as a creator, as a unique and beautiful human with free will. As a woman who has experienced hardship and great joy, who has felt broken and has felt completely whole. 

You - all of you and your experience - are gold. All of it is part of the Wild Wealth that you are, and is vital for your work and for the world.  

You are Invited. 

I would love to have you join me, and the amazing group of women who are gathering to explore the ways of Wild Wealth. We begin in less than two weeks. And if that doesn't speak to you, I would invite you to turn toward yourself with a fresh gaze and to look for the innate wealth of resources that you possess. I would love for you to live into appreciating and celebrating all that you are and to recognize your unique nature as the very heartbeat of wealth. 

Because sister, that's what I know to be true. 

xoxo.nona