I want love to be present in everything I do.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you do, too, as one of my readers. Wanting my life and my energy to be infused with love, is an intention I use liberally in the energy work I do for myself and for others, "Mastery over transformation in the vibration of love." Whether the ultimate desire is about right work, relationships to self or others or the state of the world, I want to let love heal and transform on all levels. Now I read that intention and I sigh, feeling the deep support and love of the divine clearing the way.
However, until recently, it didn't feel that way. I would feel hesitation but I didn't know why.
I began exploring my relationship to Divine Love.
For the last year and a half, I have invited divine love to show me her face. To help me embody love, to know and experience true love, as well as to support me in expressing love clearly: in my work, in my family, in my community and the world. I asked to be held in a sacred container of love so that everything that stands between myself and a deep knowing of divine love would reveal itself to be healed in right timing.
One surprising (and exciting) aspect of this exploration has been a deeper understanding of the intention I love so dearly and how expectations play a part in the experience of how an intention takes hold in our lives -- not only expectation, but the impact that unconscious beliefs about love (or any higher energy) will have on an intentional choice to invite healing, growth and transformation.
The impact of bringing love into the equation.
When I started using this intention in my energy work, I noticed that I felt like I was being punished -- I experienced physical pain and emotional upheaval in ways that honestly made me hesitate to use energy work at all. I couldn't understand why the clearing was so brutal. The surface explanation was that when old patterns, karma and energies are cleared, that it can be chaotic and painful. Of course that's true -- anyone who has ever undertaken learning a new skill or changing a behavior knows that it's uncomfortable. But this was beyond that level of discomfort.
I accepted the explanation as truth.
But I used the energy work much less frequently because I didn't want to throw myself into chaos even though I loved the results and the outcomes of the energy work, the pain I would experience during the healing was too much.
However, in the midst of energy work for myself related to my explorations of love, I had an epiphany about asking love to be part of our healing and our energy work that changed everything -- literally providing understanding and healing on the spot.
Many people (myself included) grew up with flawed, conditional, punishing experiences of love from the first "divine" beings in our lives, our parents (because they are human, not because they are bad people). Then, many people were introduced to a vengeful and punishing God. Love was not a gentle force and it was not a supportive energy - in fact, love, as I understood it, was something to be feared. The theme being, "I'm punishing you because I love you. It's for your own good."
My experience of inviting change and transformation was a reflection of my unconscious belief that love hurts. I didn't understand love as anything but a conditional force with no investment in being supportive of who I am and what I want to create. If your first experience of love bears any resemblance to mine, then this intention, "Transformation in the vibration of love." may bring you healing/growth experiences that will likely be painful while you are on the way to your desires.
And yet, love is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe and in any endeavor, I certainly want love present and so the first order of business is healing our understanding of, and experience of, love.
Heal Your Relationship to Love Itself.
Now, when I am asked for energy medicine, I affirm and intend that every person's healing on the way to transformation is attuned to the support of divine love, bypassing and dissolving any distorted unconscious patterns and beliefs related to the incredible power of love.
- Explore this for yourself, because it's certainly not true for everyone. If you identify as a person who loves energy work or you are in relationship to others who do any kind of energy work on your behalf or if you are a practitioner, look closely at your relationship to healing. In any energy medicine modality there is a clearing/healing phase -- do you experience this as painful? If so, I would invite you do you own energy medicine and/or ritual that witnesses this pattern and affirms it's dissolution from all realms of your being.
- Follow that up by looking for true expressions of divine love here on earth: the sun that shines and warms your face, the flowers and plants and edibles that are available as a result of a generous and abundant earth, the smiling face of a child, the acceptance and care of someone who deeply loves you, the body you live in that pulses with life, the synchonicities that arrive out of nowhere. I experience all of this as divine love. How about you?
- Affirm a new relationship to divine love not only by looking for the evidence (above) but also embodying love by breathing it in, envisioning the breath infusing your entire being with divine love. Affirm that Divine Love is your true home.
This is not only completely life-changing work, but it has long legs and big ripples, which will transform your relationship to yourself and the world around you.
Explore your relationship to love and commit to inviting love into your intentions. Not distorted love but true, supportive, divine love.