2015 Reflections

2015: The Year I Began Folding my Underwear

Folding my underwear was certainly not what I thought would define my year, but it has. I realized today that my desire to open up my underwear drawer and see folded underwear has materialized. Though this may seem silly, or minor, from where I sit is the indicator for so much more. 
 

December, any year.

Now is the time of year that I reflect back on the year as a whole: what worked? What didn't? Where did I succeed? What will I take forward into 2016? What lessons have I learned? What questions am I asking myself? What changes would I like to see in myself and in the world? 

Ready to find out? Let's dive in. I would invite you to join me - grab your business journal and take stock right along side. I'm certain you will walk away with more clarity about yourself, what you really want and what you want to move toward in 2016. 

What Worked

Folding my underwear. I have always been a throw the underwear in the drawer kind of gal married to a fold your underwear kind of guy. I've secretly admired my husband's neat underwear drawer our whole marriage. To me, this was the epitome of his thoughtful nature. I decided at the beginning of 2015 that I was going to become a woman who folds my underwear and with few exceptions, I have kept that promise to myself.

What this means to me: a growing appreciation of creating beauty in small ways and the big impact the small moves have. I have often felt frustrated when folding my underwear, wondering why the hell I bother and then, when I neatly place the underwear in the drawer, I am struck - always - by the care and attention this small act really is. I will enjoy choosing a pair of folded underwear every morning, it subtly reminds me to take the time for the small things that bring rich rewards. I care enough about what no one sees to make it beautiful and orderly for myself. I'm seeing tendrils of this one decision showing up in many surprising ways. 

Speaking the truth in my heart. Growing up in a family that wasn't all that functional, I've never been a good crier (wasn't safe to emote in my family) nor have I felt comfortable saying what's deep in my heart (that would be cause for punishment). For those of you who know me, this may seem shocking - I'm a great communicator and I'm not shy about sharing. For those of you who really know me, you will be nodding your head knowing what I've been unravelling for years around speaking my truth and letting myself feel all the things. To me previously, this was like throwing my underwear in the drawer unfolded - why bother feeling or saying what's on my heart to say? It won't matter, other's don't care. 

What this means to me: This year my goddess of the year (via Amy Palko) was Oya, the Nigerian goddess of the wind. One of the key phrases was, "Speak up even when your voice shakes." From hard conversations with Erick about Burundi, to asking my renters to leave so I could move back into my home, to expressing my anger, to taking a stand with my voice and my dollars for the world I wish to live in, to speaking more clearly and honestly with my clients and the women of the Wild Wealth Collective to crying my eyes out way more often than I ever have (I now keep Kleenex in every room) - this feels like a deep reverence for myself and my experience. I trust myself and my process more deeply and, I believe, this shift has made room for my daughter, my husband, my clients and my friends to be witnessed and held more securely without me trying to fix things by throwing the underwear in the drawer unfolded. (See how I did that?? It's all about underwear...) 

We also moved from Hawaii back to Colorado, said goodbye to my husband (who went to Burundi), I held Clara emotionally and physically during her grief and transition into yet another new school and in her father's absence, had to buy a new car after selling mine in anticipation of going to Africa, rented furniture since my furniture is in storage and came back into community with people I haven't lived near in over eight years. Each of these major movements was done with care (think: underwear), speaking of truth, hearing truth and lots of tears - some of joy, some of grief. I'm getting the hang of it.  

What didn't work.

Obsessing about my business. I've learned over and over that work is a convenient distraction for me. I still fall into this trap and I will find myself dissatisfied with my work and wanting more, bigger, better when I'm in the middle of something that is making me squirm emotionally. I did less of this in 2015, I intend to do even LESS in 2016. 

Running a group without individual coaching. I created the Wild Wealth Collective of 2015 to make room for moving to a country with poor internet/communications infrastructure. Obviously, that was not necessary. My desire to have deep connections with my clients - whether in groups or individually - was reinforced. Though the experience the women of this year's Collective had was deeply supportive, I felt the absence of individual time. I enjoy running intimate groups where women feel deeply held by the group and by me. I know now with greater certainty that when I work with women for longer periods of time, my preference is to have an individual component. I've adjusted accordingly. 

Falling out of my practices. My practices of stillness, play, movement and celebration are vital. I must connect with the earth and stay attuned to the earth of myself through my practices. During the move, I fell out of step with my practices and I really noticed the difference. I'm getting better at not telling myself, "I don't have time for this." and yet when the waves are big in my life, I tend to freeze up and that is when my practices of connection and embodiment fall apart. And of course they would - practices by their very nature are about presence and connection - when one is in a state of freeze, one is not interested in being connected. And so I witness this in myself with compassion and am working actively to unwind that which is within me that creates fight/flight/freeze more quickly than is necessary, which keeps me disconnected. 

Success!! 

I didn't eat sugar for nearly four months. Over Thanksgiving, I did return to eating some sugar, though not nearly as much as before, which is great and definitely not for soothing myself. I'm re-enrolled in the program that really helped me get there, Go Sugar Free, which starts up again in January. I am very aware of when/how I'm eating sugar at the moment and it's not happening every day which is cause for celebration AND I'm also missing the benefits of clearer skin and better sleep that I enjoy when I'm not eating any added sugar. However, I intend to enjoy the heck out of sharing my favorite desserts with my husband over the holidays. 

I completed Earth Medicine School. This year was the year of bringing earth-based healing and coaching into my work more deeply. It has felt like coming home to align with the practices and rituals of earth herself - the material of our own lives and our own rhythms when we are in balance. This work has contributed deeply to my own life and to the discoveries I wish to make, the problems I am passionate about solving. 

More understanding of what I care about with my work. I've had lots of internal struggle around whether I should be a coach that encourages women to get to 6 figures. I am clear that's not necessarily my priority. I've worked with plenty of women who successfully reach, and are at, 6-figure businesses. What I really care about is are you aligned with work and a life that is deeply nourishing and meaningful for you? Are you working more, or less, than you want to? Do you want more money because you think it will solve your problems? (It won't in most cases) Are you actually tending and caring for the resources you already have at your disposal, including your money? Wealth is about the whole ecosystem of your life, money is a small part of that. I'm very interested in seeing women trust their wealth of internal resources and to recognize the wealth they already have externally - in my experience, this is what leads to right income and right livelihood. I am glad to know that about myself and to leave the obsession with 6 or 7 figure businesses to someone else for now. 

Less than success, or maybe not? 

Less profitable. {Note: implied in this is a financial review. You do that, right?} I really just don't want to tell you this (which is ironic after the last point), but it's important. My net income this year from my business went down slightly from last year. I enlisted a lot of support this year to keep my business on track during such big transition. I needed it. So my gross income stayed relatively stable {It looks like it will be around $65K at the end of this year} but my net profit decreased by about $15K to $33,000 this year. I can account for that with extra coaching, a new website for Wild Wealth Collective and also paying for the continuing education that will span into 2016 (more on that later). My hours of work probably decreased slightly (to roughly 22 hours per week) this year given everything that's taken place so that's a win to not lose gross income, but I still notice that when the shit hits the fan, I look to expensive support: extra coaching, extra programs, and distractions, maybe (a new site for the Wild Wealth Collective). It's good to know what works and what doesn't - I'm looking to 2016 with more structure around how I spend on coaching and programs that are for my business and me. 

Lessons learned. I'm moving forward with...

More truth and more of my heart. I know more about what's truly important to me now than I did at the beginning of the year. Trust: of the feminine, my nature and yours, my voice, of emotions, of the darkness and the return of the light.  It feels vital to be awake to what I love, what inspires and what pisses me off and to say something, to speak up. Practice, practice, practice. Play. To love hard and to be present for the beauty. To slow down and fold the underwear - to create beauty and trust the process and know that even small actions have a large ripple effect.

The questions I'm asking. 

To me, the questions we ask make us or break us. We can ask shitty questions that keep us stuck in an endless loop of what we don't want or we can ask great questions that lead us toward great answers and strong action. 

The questions I'm asking: 

For my business

  • What am I on fire to offer that is new this year? 
  • What will make the Wild Wealth Collective epic and life-changing for the women who've signed up? 
  • How often will I send out blogs this coming year?
  • What day will I set aside for writing? (I've missed regular blogging, so expect more)

For my personal life

  • How can I continue to grow in honesty, love and connection with Erick while we are separated? 
  • What kind of mother does Clara need me to be? 
  • What kind of strength work do I need to support my body? {Currently, I'm giving Pilates a go.}
  • How can I expand my zone of "safety" and not go into fight/flight/freeze so quickly? {I'm taking a breathwork facilitator training to learn this vital skill that is releasing trauma from my body and also building resilience.}

For the world

  • How can we create thriving economies, businesses and lives that support the health of our home, Mother Earth? 
  • How can wealth creation for ALL humans and caring for earth become allies? 
  • How can I contribute to a less violent society right where I am?
  • What do I need to do and/or say on behalf of earth and non-human nature? 

These questions will become the basis for my 2016 intentions, guiding not only my actions, but what I say no to and let go of. 

If you are still here with me, bravo! If you did your own review, I would love to hear about the highlights, the insights, and the ahas you discover in your own review. What surprises did you find in small changes? 

I would love to hear all about it. 

xoxo.nona


Happy Holidays!

My husband is coming home for a month, so this will be the last blog post of 2015. May your holidays be everything you wish for, sister. I know this can be a challenging time of the year with obligations, "shoulds" and family craziness.

What I have to offer is a little sanity in the financial realm that will have far-reaching impact into many areas of your life. If you are feeling tender and raw in your relationship to money as we approach the end of the year, I suggest the home-version of Get Right with Money. And through December 25th, you can purchase the program for $167 (Regular investment $197.00).

Here's what a recent "graduate" had to say: 

My experience with Nona's 'Get Right with Money' embodies the adage 'When the student is ready, the teacher appears.' From the very first pages, I connected with her simple-yet-powerful message, and was delighted and fascinated to experience my financial situation improve as I moved through the lessons. Nona has helped me to think about money and value and worth in new, unexpected, and ongoing ways. I'm so grateful for her knowledge, insights, and humor. She's a gem.   --Beth Kujawski, Writer