I can't remember a time since childhood that I've loved my body.
This is an old, hateful story... that physical thinness and prowess is the apex of demonstrating one's mental health, success, and all around goodness.
Today, I walked straight up the side of Pike's Peak.
Oh, about 1/3 of the way to the top for a round trip of about 7 1/2 miles, with Clara and Erick. I was walking behind them, at a steady, but slower, pace which felt fabulous, really, considering we were above 8,000 feet elevation. I know I've made oodles of progress because I wasn't ashamed that I wasn't "keeping up" with Erick - who is for all intents and purposes a world-class athlete. However, I still heard whispers of judgement and self-hatred about my body. I recognized the progress, but I felt sad and honestly, a bit peeved.
I hear from clients (a lot), "Why do I keep dealing with the same thing again and again?"
They are wound up that they keep having the same shit come up. Often it is the exact thing that they are coaching others around (like health and bodies - I have lots of clients that are health coaches or acupuncturists). Or, it's money and income. Or addictions. Or all of it wrapped into a knot of messy, for the thousandth time.
Somehow we have this erroneous belief that once we've "dealt" with something, we will never have to deal with it again.
Today I know that most of the time, that's simply not true.
Especially for the issues that we REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be done with. Like our weight or our money or our business or even political and social issues. Those are the ones that keep coming around, nipping at our heels.
In the energy work I use to enhance my coaching, I often set the intention to release what no longer serves. And I am so grateful that I can see little (and sometimes bigger) bits of unwinding over time - that those destructive behaviors and attitudes are slowly dropping away. Sometimes I get impatient and wonder why they don't just go the fuck away, since I don't like them so much (like today on the mountain). But then I remember.
Old beliefs and actions continue to serve a purpose if they are still here.
No matter WHAT we are dealing with repeatedly, I believe we are all being asked to stop the war. To stop doing what we do out of hatred or fear. To stop punishing ourselves. To work with what we've got, skillfully and compassionately.
We are being asked to love every aspect of this precious life.
To love our anger. To love our contempt. To love our fear. To love our grief. To love the decisions that have taken us places we didn't expect (or necessarily want) to go. To love ourselves and our lives and our choices without reserve.
We are being invited, over and over, by those niggling, unhelpful beliefs and actions and circumstances to stop the damn war. Now.
Like many of you, I know intimately the belief that fear and hatred and judgement are the way to whip ourselves into shape, to make what we want a reality. But it doesn't work for reals. It's a lie and a sham that beating ourselves (or others) effects any sort of real change.
Love carries us toward our true desires.
Today, after loving up my judgement and fear and feeling not-good-enough, I celebrated this body that carries me up mountains, is the vehicle that carries around my big heart and my clear mind, not to mention my delightfully loud (and sweary) mouth. Today, I choose love (instead of war) for this precious body and my life, knowing that loving my body will inspire actions that are aligned with what I want for myself.
What war can you put an end to today?
Whether you are experiencing something wonderful or uncomfortable, I invite you to stop the war. Extend yourself the love and understanding you would give a dear beloved. Intend your every action to be fueled by love for you, for your future, and for those around you.
Namasté, business yogini!
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