Horses aren't my "thing".
Not close up, at least. Yes, yes, they are pretty and majestic and all that jazz (pictures! send me pictures!!), but they are also big. In person, I find their energy somewhat disconcerting, alien, and well, BIG.
Last year, I got in the ring for an equus coaching experience.
I had been hearing SO much about getting in a round pen with a horse with the intent of joining up with the horse - the whole goal, as I heard it, is to get the horse to acknowledge you as the lead mare. To lead, but without forcing an agenda on the horse. And if that doesn't happen, you get coached around the experience.
"Everything shows up with the horses." Our coach excitedly told us the night before. We were told to relax, stay in our bodies, and just "play with the energy."
This did not go well for me.
I was feeling a wee bit scared of the horse and really freaked out by performance anxiety (OMG! Doing something that somehow reveals my deepest weaknesses, in front of other people???? Arghhhhh!!!)
To abbreviate the story, I dragged one horse around the ring, had a prolonged staring contest with another, and then threw a temper tantrum in front of my peers that left me emotionally flattened and humbled, certain that clearly I was in the wrong profession.
Though I credit that, err, how shall I say it? GROWTH opportunity and the many subsequent hours of coaching around it for helping me shift into a more authentic and powerful direction in my coaching practice, it didn't do anything to grow my love of horses.
Imagine my surprise when horses showed up in my meditation.
As I've been preparing for Get Right with Money, I've been pulling together all of the tools and audio and video and worksheets that will support the women in my program to heal their money story and to make the practical changes they want to make with their finances.
But, I've also been meditating - a lot. I visualize sitting with the women in the group and feel into what is needed by the group. I've been communing with Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of abundance (my goddess of the year), and, I've also been meditating on the very nature of money.
Yes, the very nature of money.
Has anyone said to you, "Money is just energy."
And Yes, OH, YES, that is SO true. But we (and I include myself in this category) easily forget that.
We grasp, we become afraid, we close down, we walk away, and we hold on for dear life - sometimes in rapid succession. And like any energetic circuit, energy doesn't flow when the conduit is blocked or being squeezed too tight.
As I sat in meditation, contemplating money, horses galloped towards me. And as they drew close, they were FLIRTING with me, inviting me to play. And I KNEW this was the energy of money - big and powerful, reflecting back to me exactly the energy I put out.
Just like those horses that were in the ring with me last year did.
I started laughing and then I was crying.
First laughing because I thought, "Of course it WOULD be horses!"
Second crying, because it was so damn beautiful. These magnificent creatures, showing me in meditation, that money wants to join up with us. Money wants to let us be the lead mare. But without being tethered or grasped tightly - like water, like electricity, money wants to flow freely. It wants us to trust.
Money is a powerful and playful muse.
Just like the horses.
This week, imagine stepping into the proverbial round pen with money and be ready to see your reflection. Let your relationship to money show you what requires healing. And then be ready to play.