The myth of "too much"

One of my very favorite parts of coaching is helping clients tap into the innate gifts.

Looking at their natural talents, preferences, values, and deep desires.

Many times, especially with the women I work with, their calling is deeply linked to their wounding and the ways that they dimmed their own light in order to be safe and/or loved and/or accepted.

Much of our time together is spent shedding these false beliefs around identity and only then is it possible to truly align energy and actions with a sustainable business based on our own healing.  I see so much beauty and light in the women I work with - it is HUGELY amazing to be a part of their unfolding as they step into owning themselves and their stories, fully.

I have a daughter who is six.

She is brilliant and shiny and larger than life. She is bold and talkative and smart and curious about everything.

<-- Here she is, in Paris.

This last weekend, Michele Woodward's daughter babysat for me and I took Clara to Michele's house (which Clara was THRILLED about). Clara practically threw herself from the car as we got to Michele's house -- she could. not. wait. to hang out with Michele's very cool daughter for the evening.

When I came back to pick Clara up, Michele said to me, in the most amazed and loving voice, "That Clara is a pistol! Isn't she the best?"

My first thought was, "OH MY GOD CLARA HAS GOT TO LEARN TO TONE IT DOWN OR NO ONE WILL LOVE HER OR BE NICE TO HER FOREVER AND ALWAYS."

Huh. Do you think that was about Clara?

But I was all up in that story. And not surprisingly, it was incredibly difficult to get Clara to listen to me and put her shoes on -- she was wild. And I was feeling prim and contained and like I needed her to be *really* good so people would love her and she wouldn't be "too much".

We said our goodbye's and I got Clara wound down and into bed. As I sat beside Clara while tucking her in, I felt the contraction in my stomach.

The thought that she is "too much" just made me want to throw up.

Every woman that I've worked with came to mind. The brilliance, the creativity, the intuition, the healing, the strength, the unbelievable gifts... how all of them were told at some point that they were wrong, that it wasn't okay to be them, that they weren't going to be loved if they did their thing one more time.

So they went into hiding.  Until now.

I looked at my daughter with fresh eyes. My daughter is not too much. She is dramatic and smart and beautiful and an energetic ball of love. Her belly laugh brings tears to my eyes with it's depth. Her absolute dedication to being who she is and expressing it just how she wants to is breath-taking in it's honesty. I could go on and on.

I will not be the one to shut her down.

There may be other forces at work in her life that will tell her to stop being who she is, but it won't be me. I will be a fierce advocate of her light. I want her to be happy. And I know from experience that deep-down, in-your-bones, kind of happiness is only possible when all of you is present and accounted for.

It's never too much to be yourself.

In fact, it is exactly what the world needs.

Namasté to you, business yoginis!

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Posted on March 1, 2011 and filed under Must-Read, Parenting, Reveal and honor your Superpowers.