Let me say, I'm not a perfectly perfect communicator.
Not by a long shot. I haven't studied communication outside of my own experience as a coach, a writer and a human wanting to live truthfully. In fact, I've learned more from my failures and serious fumbles in speaking true than almost anything else. I have been known to say the wrong thing, hold back and then to be too blunt when I finally do say something.
But for me, speaking Truth for myself, into the space of my relationships, and into my communities is non-negotiable -- I have to keep practicing. As a result, what I hear consistently from clients, friends and family is that I have a way of expressing myself that is vulnerable and courageous, strong and clear. This is hard-won through a devotion to Sacred Practice: a function of trial and error, a willingness to speak (even when my voice shakes) and an uncompromising vision of a world where Truth and compassion lead.
My story is long and winding, beginning in childhood where I was silenced and called "the town crier" for not keeping my family's secrets secret. I was honest to a fault as a young person and realized that quality was undervalued by those around me. I tried to silence my truth, and my voice, for many years in an attempt to be "normal" and to be loved. Instead, I was angry, addicted and unhappy. Of course, the wrong people loved me when I was lying to myself and trying to shape mySelf and my words to fit their ideas of who I should be.
There were powerful gifts embedded in those years.
After I got married and had my daughter and became a coach, of course I had to grapple with the demons of my young life -- the ways my words, my Truth, and my ideas had been stolen, stifled and dismissed. The ways that I had perpetuated that violence against myself by editing myself and my words to try and fit a mold that was far too small. The first and most vital foundation of that work was to tend the language that I used toward, and about, mySelf. And I did. And I continue to do so.
As I look back on the lessons and gifts of those years, I have learned how to Say It! with compassion, even when I'm angry. I've learned to take a step back and to know my own heart before I Say It!. I have learned how to be wrong without making myself wrong. And I continue to deepen in trust for mySelf and what I have to say, which makes room for others to meet themselves where they are when we are together.
Knowing myself and experiencing myself in this way has given me a capacity to listen well, to love deeply, to speak clearly and engage in conflict more effectively. To be truthful. To be more fully mySelf.